Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Nearing 40 Weeks and Feeling Frustrated

Well, before I begin the mini vent session, I need to start from the beginnin of last week...

Last Tuesday, I had just gotten back from the doctor's office and had my first official "exam." I just need to brag on Diane Tandy, the midwife at Gifts from Grace. I told her I was terrified of this exam and had heard horror stories of the pain. She reassured me that there was no reason for the exam to be painful. She told me to squeeze her finger if it was hurting me. Let me tell you, my grip on her finger was as relaxed as if I were falling asleep. This woman is a God-send. She explained everything she was doing the entire time and I was never the least bit uncomfortable. I am so thankful for this woman! She told me I was about 2cm dilated, my cervix is 90% effaced and the baby's head is at zero station! All positive progress where I'm concerned! She said she would be "seeing me soon" and didn't necessarily mean at my next appointment! I know that things can stay the same for a week, or more, and it's probably very likely I'll be back in the office this week still waiting for this baby, but, it's good to know that my body is preparing. It makes induction seem like a non-issue at this point, which is also an answer to prayer!

HOWEVER, here it is Monday, November 20th, a mere 5 days away from D-day. (Due Day). Frustration has set in and I feel like this baby is never going to come on his own. I've had maybe a total of 5 painful contractions, none of them severe enough to even think maybe we are close to labor. Braxton Hicks are going non-stop, but they are just never painful. I just stare at my belly and say JUST HURT ALREADY! That doesn't work. I'm sure you were all wondering. I've told this baby day after day that he can come and we are ready for him. He either doesn't understand me (100% possible) or is just that stubborn. I have been praying earnestly for the past 2 weeks (once we safely reached full term) that "today would be the day." Those prayers obviously haven't been answered. I've asked God for just one good contraction that would let me know my body is going to be able to deliver this baby at some point. No luck. I know I cannot push my plans or my will on God's will and I'm really not trying to. It's more of a plea that "today would be the day God wants to bring him." So far my plea has yet to align with God's will. After going to Church on Sunday, I was reminded that everything about my life and everything that goes on in my life is for God's glory. Not my own. I am merely reflecting the God of the universe. If I were to really try to plan my own due date and take credit for doing so, would that be bringing Him any glory at all? No. But at the same time, I just feel like I am praying to no one. I feel no peace or comfort in this time of waiting. 2 of my friends had their babies this weekend which just makes my wait even more difficult. I just want to hold this baby in my arms, not waddle around with him in my belly.

Alright. Enough. I'm going to move on. However, I needed to get the true "emotion" out in order to really move past the issue. Lord give me patience.

The rest of the week was great. Friday night we went to dinner with my whole family which was a nice treat. We hardly see my brother and sister-in-law, so it was nice to have an evening out with them! Saturday I did get my nails done AGAIN. Just in case THIS is the week I need pretty feet. Then Nick and I had a date afternoon and went to a matinee and then dinner. Then came Sunday. One of the highlights of the week/weekend. I love Christmas. A whole lot. But when it comes to food, Thanksgiving holds my heart. Well... my family's recipes hold my heart. I can eat like a man on this holiday and Sunday was it for us this year! Again, my whole family was there and it was such a blessing. Jackson asked me at one point, "When are you gonna take your baby out? After dinner?" I wish. If only Jackson were a visionary. Although, we all know he thought Bekham/Fenwick was a girl, so I never held out hope he was seeing the future!

I said Sunday was one of the highlights of my week. Another was when my husband surprised me early with my "push gift." Some of you may wonder why he did this early, but, I will explain. It's a camera/recorder that I will obviously need to have handy in the delivery room, but it is a nice camera! Oh I love it! Nick loves it too. I think he's more excited to use it than I am!! Good thing.. he'll be the photographer when baby B makes his appearance.

Well- that's all for now. I am going to update this post with pictures later on today, but, I haven't transferred them from the camera to my computer quite yet! If you are reading this, please join me in praying for this boy to make his arrival this week. In all seriousness, I am to the point of tears each morning I wake up and have no signs of labor. I don't know why I am so affected by this right now, but I am, so any and all prayers for my sanity and this baby's birthday are much appreciated!

And Bekham, you've heard this a million times from me, but COME ON OUT! We are ready and waiting! Love you, and hope to see you soon! -Mom



Sunday, November 13, 2011

Awaiting our Autumn Arrival at 38 Weeks!

Another week has come and gone and we are still pregnant. I realize that 40 weeks is normal, and hoping to deliver early was only ever a HOPE, not a reality, but... that hope was very alive for a very long time. Now I have a feeling we'll be pushing 41 weeks, but we shall see! I still like to think that we may have a little man this week!

A lot happened for us this week. As you know, we frantically switched doctors about two weeks ago. Well.. this week, we had to switch hospitals! At my appointment on Tuesday, the doctor told us our only option was to deliver at North Fulton. So... Tuesday afternoon, Nick and I headed straight to the hospital for a maternity tour. To be honest, it paled in comparison to Northside Forsyth, BUT, the nurses seemed awesome (especially the one that led the tour). She expressed how basically everything is the mom's decision from the moment she walks in. They are very "natural birth" friendly. I could tell we would be most comfortable here despite the fact that it wasn't our first choice. The labor and delivery rooms are nice- we just weren't too thrilled with the postpartum rooms. But hey- its 24-48 hours right? We can make it! So, after getting our deductible back from Northside, and spending another half our in the week filling out paperwork for North Fulton, we are officially switched! Hopefully the last minute stressors are BEHIND us! At least I'm praying that's the case!

On a lighter note, my mom brought over some take out from Ippolito's on Thursday night! The Eggplant Parmesan had absolutely no effect on me. Not even one minor contraction! That's okay. I never really believed it would happen like that for me anyways! It was fun to try. It was even on a full moon and everything. Clearly God has a different time frame in mind for baby B! I've been walking like crazy at the gym- no luck there either. I am very anxious to go to the doctor tomorrow and see what our status is! Not so much looking forward to the process of finding out, but more of the results after the fact!

My mom (Grammie) also bought Bekham a new outfit for when we get pictures taken at the hospital! It's a precious outfit that I am not posting here, simply because, it needs to make its first debut ON our son! And oh I just cannot wait! It is yummy! She also got him a couple long sleeve onesies ... I somehow managed to accumulate ZERO of those! Then, on Friday and Sunday, we managed to take a couple maternity shots outside as the leaves were at their peak color! I had wanted to get some taken professionally, but, decided we could save our money and just have my Mom get a couple good ones for the memory! I am satisfied with the results!

The rest of the weekend was pretty lazy. My sister-in-law had her baby, Elizabeth Sophia, on Friday night, so we went to the hospital Saturday to visit. I was hoping Bekham would get the urge to join the party, but again, no such luck! It did however present the reality of a newborn to me! I can't believe I'll have one of my own any day now. Slightly frightening, but mostly exhilarating! We did decorate the inside of our house for Christmas (just in case the little guy comes before we had time to get ready!) The outdoor lights will wait until after Thanksgiving, but everything else is decked for the season... That's not true. I do need to find a stocking for B! I have plenty of time for that though! I do also still need to find some garland for the mantle, but all in due time!

Well I think that about sums it up! Here are some of the pictures I mentioned from our fall photo shoot! I will just share some of my favorites ... !


Yes, the photo above does look like I've stuffed a pumpkin under my shirt. I promise its my child!


 Yeah!! Nick finally made the blog! He felt like a cheese ball taking these shots.. it was on the side of the road, but he was a champ! Thanks babe!

Alright baby boy. The time is right! Come meet us!!!

Monday, November 7, 2011

"Full Term" at 37 Weeks!

Well we made it to what is considered "Full Term." Chances are, this little boy will be happy to stay where he's at for 4 more weeks, but it's nice to know that any day could be the day! I anxiously await each ache and pain that a new day brings. Lately its just been a lot of cramping and a LOT of tightening/Braxton Hicks. Why can't real contractions be as painless as Braxton Hicks!? That's what I'd like to know!

Nothing too eventful took place this week, with the exception of a horrible week at work. I can't remember a time I felt as stressed out as I did this past week. I could physically feel the stress weighing on my chest. (This is another reason you should come baby boy! Momma needs her maternity leave!) But alas, we made it through that week and Bekham is stronger because of it. Literally. It's as if he is trying to bust out my sides. I tell him each time, if you would only work so hard to get DOWN and not OUT we could both be a lot more comfortable. He'll have none of it! This week, Eggplant Parmesan from Scalini's is on the menu for 11/10/11. Chances are, absolutely nothing will come of it, but it can't hurt to try! Everything else is ready and waiting. Had my hair appointment this past weekend to brighten up my highlights (for hospital pictures of course!) I have a fresh manicure and pedicure as of this evening! I'd say the bags are packed, but I just refuse to do that until I start getting contractions. It's not like we'll be rushing out the door when the first one strikes.

Really not much else to report on. My stomach feels like it has grown immensely (or perhaps rounded out) over the past 72 hours.  My appetite is through the roof. I could basically eat non stop. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not sleeping well at all (Thanks for the practice Bek!) I am just so ready to get into labor and meet this baby! I pray every day that "today would be the day" but God has other plans! I know there is much to be learned when "waiting" on things in life. I pray that I would be open to those teachable moments as I anticipate and prepare for that first contraction! And on that note, my verse for this week, "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" -Psalm 27:14. There is just no reading between the lines there! Strength WILL rise as I wait upon the Lord!

Here is the belly as of 37 weeks on Friday. Can I just say I am sick of rotating through the same 5-7 outfits that I have? I wear these black pants with a tank top and pull over at least twice a week. Oh well. Never claimed I wanted to be a maternity model!