2 Confessions.

So, I have two things to confess and get off my chest publicly:

1. Today when I went to put on jeans to go out to dinner with Nick and Bek, I realized I hadn't put real pants on all week. Literally, I was in sweat pants or yoga pants Monday-Friday. I couldn't believe it. I guess my recent purchase this past week on Amazon for more yoga pants was a good idea after all.

2. I read an article yesterday called How to Miss a Childhood. READ IT. Stop reading my blog right now and read it if you haven't already. I don't even care if you come back to my blog at all if you totally forget what got you to that article. This confession is two-fold
     a. I am so thankful that I can benefit from other people's mistakes BEFORE its too late for me and
         my family. I am selfishly GLAD these people share their mistakes so that I don't regret these
         same things years down the road.
     b. I am so guilty already of what she talks about. I have made the decision to go cell phone free
         unless Bekham is napping. Extreme, I know. She talks about maybe taking 10 minutes or an
         hour, but I need to break the addiction. Today was my first day and it went shockingly smooth
         and I had such an inner sense of accomplishment. I was connecting with Bekham at every
        opportunity of the day. I never missed a time when he looked at me today. I never missed an
        opportunity to engage in what he was doing and talk about it with him. His hugs meant so much
        more to me today than ever before. I know he's only 14 months, but I also know he knew when
        I was paying more attention to my phone than to him. So therefore, I also think he knew today
        was different. I'm so glad I'm putting in the effort now and not when I've already missed so
        many precious moments of his young life.

The biggest challenge facing me is honestly photo opportunities. I am big on pictures and not having my phone with me- I am constantly missing those opportunities. My hope is that I can break the habit in a month or so. Maybe after the addiction is gone, I can solely use the phone as a camera and not as a way to check facebook, mail, work, the weather, a blog, etc. I hope that everyone in my life and everyone reading this will hold me accountable. I'm not willing to let any of my children's lives fly by because I am so connected to everyone else. 

Okay, that's all! Back hopefully sooner than later to update on my progress!

Looks like we've made it!

This blog is going to be short, but it's going to be sweet, so very sweet. And it needs to be mile-stoned before I forget.

January 9th- Bekham slept through the night
January 10th- Bekham slept through the night
January 11th- Bekham slept through the night
January 12th- Bekham slept through the night
January 13th- Bekham slept through the night
January 14th- Bekham slept through the night
January 15th- Bekham slept through the night

And by through the night, I mean 8pm until anytime between 6 and 7am.

Thank you Jesus for hearing my prayers and answering in Your perfect time.
Thank you faithful friends and family for constantly lifting our little family up in your prayers.
Thank you Bekham for figuring this out after 13 months of life.

Should this streak abruptly come to an end, I don't think I'll EVER forget what a week of sleep feels like again!

He Fails Us Not

So, recently, I had a health scare that turned out to be the epitome of a hypochondriac experience. To save us all time: it was a blood blister, NOT a mole. There have been few times in my life that I felt as stupid as I did in my dermatologist's office. However, in the days leading up to the appointment, when uncertainty and fear were creeping in on me, it was one of those times where you get a reality check on exactly where you are spiritually. Some weaknesses in my faith were exposed which was unsettling, but I'm thankful for that. I now know where I need to grow the most. One of my closest friends encouraged me to download a song called "You fail us not." If you haven't heard it, or don't know it, I strongly encourage you to download it as well. It may just be my new life anthem. Here are the words for those of you that don't want to spend the $0.99. Bold, underlining, and italicizing are my doing. I LOVE these lyrics.

Failure doesn't phase you.
Worry doesn't win.
Lost doesn't leave you afraid to start again.
Our sin doesn't shock you.
Our shame doesn't shame you at all.
Mistakes do not move you.
Terror doesn't tame.
Death doesn't doom you to life in the grave.
Our suffering doesn't scare you.
Our secrets won't surprise you at all.
At all.

There is nothing above you.
There is nothing beyond you.
There is nothing that you can't do.
There is no one beside you.
There is no one that's like you.
There is nothing that you can't do.
Whatever will come, we'll rise above.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
No matter the war, our hope is secure.
You fail us not, You fail us not.
You fail us not.

Hatred doesn't hide you.
Evil doesn't ail.
Despair can't disguise you and tell you that you fail.
Our doubt doesn't daunt you.
Our darkness won't defeat you at all.
At all.

You’re bigger than the battle,
You are bigger than the battle
You are bigger than the battle has ever been

A couple days ago, these words applied to my fear of a cancerous mole. Today they apply to the task of parenthood. Today, the lyrics that hit home most are failure doesn't fail you, and, mistakes do not move you. I can't count how many times in the past year I have felt like a failure as a mom or felt that I've already made so many mistakes in raising Bekham. I am so thankful that God truly does NOT fail us. He is truly bigger than the battle. Bigger than the mundane tasks of "no no" or "don't touch." There is a definite battle we all fight against sin nature. But there's a double battle when you, having sin nature inside of you, are battling the sin nature of your child. WOW. THANK YOU LORD that you are bigger than the battle. As I say "no no" literally one hundred times a day, I find my patience wearing thin and my tone of voice getting more stern and the volume a little more elevated. And there it is. My sin nature. My impatience surfacing. My frustration surfacing. And I watch myself parent in ways that disappoint me. Why can't I keep my cool? Why do I get so tired of moving Bekham away from the DVD player, the trash can, the road, etc.? Why can't I find joy in these moments?

Don't get me wrong- I do find joy in watching him explore and learn boundaries at the same time. BUT- I do not find joy in saying "no" and relocating him time and time again. I feel like I'm getting nowhere! But God doesn't fail us. I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. I know this role of motherhood is exactly where He wants me and has me for a reason. This song is what I needed. I can make mistakes. I can fail. Because I have a Savior who won't make mistakes and won't fail. He is the only one that can help me fight the battle. As small or as big as it may seem to me.

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY BEKHAM SHARP!

Dear my November baby,

You are one year old as of 4:22am this morning. ONE. YEAR. OLD! It is just completely unbelievable how much you've grown and changed right before our eyes. I can still remember thinking you would never learn to crawl because you HATED tummy time. Not only did you crawl, but you've been walking a good month and a half before your birthday. That's nuts little boy! Your daddy and I love you more than you could ever possibly know and it seems like somehow we fall more in love with you each day. And I don't honestly know how that could be possible. Each tooth you grow makes your smile and laugh cuter. Each word you utter makes me melt. I love when you hold my hand going up or down stairs, or just when encountering rough terrain. I love when I ask for a hug and you run right into my arms. I love when you walk around doing the indian thing with your mouth and hand. I love when you lay your head on my shoulder when I rock you for naps. I love watching you explore and climb. Climb on EVERYTHING. I love when you throw your ball to me or place a toy in my hand, or share your food with me. Its the sweetest thing I've ever experienced. You bring me so much joy. You break me out of my shell and NO ONE has been able to do that. We play outside ALL the time (I'm a home body). We get messy and dirty (I'm a neat freak). We play in the sand when we go to the beach (I'm a pool person). I do a 20 minute DVD workout (I used to be at the gym for at least an hour). There are so many things you are changing about me and I love it. You are helping me let go of otherwise silly hang ups that I had for too long.

Bekham, you can't possibly remember your first year. If you do now, you won't by the time you are reading this. So let me ensure you that you know some things. You are DEARLY loved by many. MANY. So many people ask about you, visit you, enjoy you, enjoy seeing pictures of you. You love just being outside. You can be in the middle of an all out fit, crying tantrum, you name it. But the minute we step foot outside... its like you are a different kid. Its quite entertaining. You love to BANG on everything WITH everything. In fact, we often have to say, "Bekham, no bang bang!"

Of all the things I will remember about your first year (the lack of sleep being engrained in my memory)- I think I will remember most your roaring habit. It is by far and away the most unique thing you do. It's how you get people's attention and I love it. LOVE IT.

I'm so ready to see how much you accomplish in your second year of life. I hope you learn to like reading stories soon because we have lots to read together! I hope that you learn to say "mama." I'm still anxiously awaiting that moment in time! I hope you learn to like Waumba Land (or any similar setting).

We just finished celebrating your birthday tonight. Grammie and Grampie came bearing balloons and gifts to have dinner and watch YOU eat cake. Funny thing is, of all the presents you got, you only wanted the broom that I picked out for you. A little light weight broom. You didn't let go of it unless Grampie stole it! You made is laugh baby. You stole the show tonight! I love you more than words red head! Can't wait to celebrate some more this weekend!!!

Coming up on a Year.

As Nick and I played with Bekham in his room tonight, we were discussing the ridiculousness that is our child's sleep habits. Or lack of sleep habits. We are one week away from celebrating his birthday, and this child STILL doesn't sleep through the night! I remember thinking, okay, we are at 6 weeks, maybe we are close to the big milestone! Then came 3 months ... maybe this is it! Okay, maybe when he sits up on his own he'll figure this sleep thing out. Okay, maybe once he's crawling and walking. Okay, maybe when he's one? Okay, maybe never. Yes, we have been dealing with croup over here, but this child is waking up sometimes 4 or 5 times a night. Yeah, we have good nights here and there, but a good night is 1 or 2 times in the middle of the night. For 52 weeks my friends. For 365 days. We have not slept through the night. All of you who are reading this before having children. ENJOY. THE. SLEEP.

I actually just read my post from this time last year. I was desperately pleading for Bekham to be born. I was miserable and sick of the waiting. Dear self 1 year ago, stop blogging and go enjoy uninterrupted naps and night time sleeps. Ah well... everyone warned me! I didn't want to hear it! As frustrating as it is, there is still sometime precious about cuddling and snuggling with this baby/toddler in the middle of the night. I selfishly have moments of not wanting him to grow out of it. Then he wakes up 30 minutes later and I take it all back :)

Enough babble. Bekham is almost ONE YEAR OLD! I'm not going to sit here and say, "WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?" or ... "IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY WHEN..." No friends. It doesn't feel like that to me. The past year has been incredibly trying. It has had many many highs, but it has had many MANY lows. Bekham turning one is a celebration indeed because I honestly wondered if i would make it. Would he still be breastfeeding? Praise the Lord, I was able to exclusively nurse for an entire year. Anyone who knew me during the first 3 weeks of Bekham's life knows how huge this is. Would he be napping? Praise the Lord again, Bekham does reliably take a good 1 and a half hour nap in the mornings. Afternoons are iffy, BUT, the morning is generally a guarantee! Would he be eating/keeping food down? Thankfully, yes! This child eats just like his mama and his daddy. A LOT. He loves food! Would he be walking? Yes. Talking? Yes (in his own language, but yes.) Would I still be working with my sanity in tact? YES.

God has blessed us beyond belief with this little boy. He brings so much laughter and joy into this home. Not that it was lacking, but you know what I mean. Right now he does this indian thing where he covers and uncovers his mouth while making a monotone noise. He recently was hitting his mouth so hard he knocked himself over. He's also learning how to climb and slide and within about 2 weeks he has MASTERED IT. Climbing up and down the ladder. Climbing up the slide. Sliding face first, feet first, backwards feet first. It's funny every time I watch him. He is testing every boundary these days and he KNOWS what is and isn't allowed. He likes to make a dart for what ISN'T allowed whenever I am cooking and not paying full attention. Smart kid.

On a final note- you can keep us in your thoughts. I am bringing home a puppy tomorrow. I know. We are crazy. Embrace it folks. Lilly Sharp joins this family in less than 24 hours! She's a lab hound mix and we are all in love with her. I'll keep you posted on how that goes!

Thats all for now! More next week on the big first birthday! Can't wait!

1 Month away from a ONE YEAR OLD!

I'm not honestly sure when the last time I blogged was, but I know its been awhile. Life in general has felt exhausting and busy. There have been many, MANY good days. But there have been just as many hard and frustrating days. We had ONE glimmer of hope when Bekham slept through the night (8pm-6am). Then it never happened again. Just last night he was literally up every 2 hours. No exaggeration. 11:30, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7. It was insane. The night before that I only slept a total of 2 hours so I really didn't have the stamina to keep up with the kid last night. Thankfully God knew that and let it happen on a weekend when I could have Nick's help. We alternated every waking during the night.

But that's not the stuff you want to read about now is it? Unless you have a baby who isn't sleeping. And in that case- rest assured- I have an 11 MONTH old that isn't sleeping (cough cough AMANDA!) Misery loves company. So know that you have company if you are awake in the middle of the night. Join me in Words With Friends or Dice with Buddies :)

Lots, and I mean LOTS has happened in month 10-11. We are walking. We have been to the beach. We have been to the pumpkin patch. We have given our Halloween Costume a test drive. Okay okay.. a couple pictures just to prove it!

At Lifetime Fitness Halloween Party!

Nothing like the beaches in Destin!

Just hunting for pumpkins!

Bekham is at a wonderful phase in his little life. He is so fun right now. Into everything, YES. Throwing tantrums, YES. Clingy, YES. Chronically sleep deprived, YES. Injury prone, YES.

BUT

Laughs with abandon, YES. Rough houses with me, YES. Walks to me with arms outstretched, YES. Lays his head on my shoulder when he needs a little rest, YES. Bangs any two items he can find together and make noise, YES. Laugh at himself, YES. Eat, and enjoy, new foods, YES.

We have so much fun together. His absolute favorite things right now are to

1. Be outside
2. "Woof" when he hears dogs
3. "Roar" when he sees his Grammie or Grampie to get their attention

If Bekham had a crib outside, I'm pretty sure he'd sleep through the night. I'm not exaggerating. I should have tried it while we were at the beach with an enclosed balcony! It's absolutely insane to me that in about a month, I really can't call my sweet boy a baby anymore. He is growing up, but entirely too fast. He's toddling... so I guess that qualifies him as a toddler. It's a transition that is great in so many ways, but that my heart grieves in other ways. The days of just holding him while he sleeps are few and far between. The days of me being his primary source of life (nutrition) are coming to a close. All good things, but all things that pull at my heart. How do parents send their kids off to college?? I was talking to a friend of mine who said she loves her little boy so much it hurts. And thats so true. Sometimes it physically does hurt to not be able to fully express my love towards Bekham. He would be irritated if I kissed him and hugged him and held him every moment I wanted him to know how much I love him. But my heart just overflows for this kid. Thank you Lord for this blessing.

Something I learned at my Bible Study yesterday was that, "I am not a perfect mom. But I'm the perfect mom for Bekham (or perfectly suited for Bekham.)" God ordained all of my days before I was born. And Bekham was written into those days long before he came to be. It was so great to truly rest in the promise that no one could be a better mom to Bekham than I could. Yes I will make mistakes and no I'll never be the perfect mom, but God planned the relationships between us and no one was better suited that me. I so needed this encouragement. Its easy to look left and right and think that someone else is doing a better job. Instead I need to shift my focus UP and know that God has fully equipped me to do this job as long as I am daily seeking Him and asking for His wisdom in each and every situation.

The countdown is on. 31 days until I am the mother of a 1 year old. Time, please slow down!

Bekham's Baby Dedication

Today was a great day. We got to spend an afternoon with family and friends at Bekham's Baby Dedication. It was a very laid back event, however, the significance and memories made, as my mom would say, made it special for us.

 Before dedicating your baby at North Point, there are some messages they ask you to listen to and some homework they request that you complete prior to the event. One of the homework assignments was to write a letter to your child- I've included it below. Pretty short and sweet, but Bekham can always refer to this blog if he wants to :)

Another one of our homework assignments was based on the idea of intentional parenting. Our kids are going to learn by our actions, not our words. I can tell Bekham all day that God wants us to be generous with our money, but if he doesn't see me modeling that, my words are meaningless. So, the task at hand was to chose 5 values that you want to prioritize in your home. We chose generosity, ambition, love, responsibility, and respect. The second part of the assignment was to chose 2 habits that you would implement in your daily routines that would put these values in action. Our first habit was to always ask each member of the family, "What can I do to help?" Parents ask kids. Kids ask parents. Kids ask kids. Our family is a team. Our hope is that they would learn to be generous with their time and resources by asking this question and following through. We also hope this will teach love. Love moves- its a verb. This was something I don't think I always fully understood. We also plan to assign household chores/responsibilities that are age appropriate to also teach responsibility as well as respect for our leadership in their lives.

I'm sure more ideas will come up, but the point is- be intentional. Choose ways to model our values to our children.

The really neat thing about sharing these with our family was that they in turn shared some scripture with us! My sister-in-law Shannon shared the verse she and her husband chose as parents (which is actually the entire chapter of Psalm 78). She talked about how we are called to pass on the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord to the next generation, just as they were passed on to us. She also gave us the idea to create a habit of doing a family devotional each morning. (Our children will learn to open their Bible if they see us in the Word every day as well). Simple, and yet so true.

My other sister-in-law, Rachel, shared Isaiah 44:3 which says, "For I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground: I will pour my spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thine offspring." What she has been learning from this verse is that she wants everything that comes out of her to be Christ. So that when she speaks- her children see Christ. That the wellspring within her would just overflow to her seed (her children) and that it would bless them. 

My mom shared Ephesians 1:17-19 with us which was neat. Part of the verse was for us as parents, and part of the verse was for Bekham. "[Nick and Aly]I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. [Bekham] I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe."

Aren't we blessed with such wise family? I'm so thankful for them!!

Kelsie, Grampie, Grammie, Mom, Dad, Aunt Rach, Aunt Shay Shay, Uncle Bry

The verse Nick and I chose to guide us on the journey of parenthood is Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." 

Bekham was given a storybook Bible from North Point. My Mom gave him a sweet book as well as 2 parenting books for me to get started on (Bringing Up Boys and Parenting with Grace and Truth). My best friend Kelsie gave him a Bedtime Prayer Book which is absolutely precious. His Mimi gave him a sweet green and brown cross that has already been hanging in his room for about a week. 

Bekham's first Bible

And this is the letter I wrote to Bekham. It's already crazy looking back on it only a month later! Oh how things have changed (mainly his sleep). Are you on the edge of your seat? Wait for the 10 month post that is coming this week!

(8/17/2012)
My sweet Bekham,

As I write this, you are sound asleep upstairs. This rarely happens. You just don't like to sleep sweet boy. Maybe you just don't want to miss out on anything going on in your little world! You are already 9 months old- how can this be? You have been such a blessing to your daddy and me. We prayed for you long before you began growing in my belly! And now you are here, you are a miracle. As you can imagine, we still pray for you daily. For your health, for your safety, and for your growth. But we are also praying that you will come to know Jesus and have a relationship with him from a very young age. It is the most important decision your father and I have made and it will be the most important decision you could ever make as well.

There is so much I could say to you. What I hope and dream for you. What I want your childhood to be like. Who I want you to marry someday. All of that is fun, and even important, but no matter what your future holds, please always know and claim these truths:

1. God loves you. He loves you fully and completely. Nothing that you do or don't do could change that.
2. We love you unconditionally and delight in who you are. Nothing that you do or don't do could change that.

As long as we live- your daddy and I will always be here for you. We will laugh with you. We will cheer for you. We will cry with you. We will support you in whatever you choose to do. You should know however, daddy hopes you will play golf or baseball. I bet you and your dad will golf together quite often. Just always promise me you will come home to Mom for a good home-cooked dinner when you guys finish up!

Bekham, we are going to make mistakes (which you will probably agree with by the time you read this!) We are going to disappoint you. We are going to frustrate you.  BUT! Anything, and everything we do is with your best interest at heart and because we love you! We trust that God will use us to model a good marriage to you, to model what it looks like to serve and honor Him, and use us to raise you and train you up in Him.

Dream big son. Never give up on your dreams. Have confidence in yourself because God created you and He makes no mistakes. I pray you have big and great faith. I know God has huge plans for your life. Be open to where he calls you and where he leads you!

I love you now and I'll love you forever!

Mom

You are loved sweet boy!

My 9 Month Man!

Well, the little baby that grew inside of me for 9 months, has now been growing and developing outside of me for 9 moths. The leaps and bounds he has taken since birth is just as amazing to me as his conception and growth inside of my womb. Watching him learn, try new foods, crawl, stand, try to walk, chatter... it's all just astounding. Watching him laugh, smile and come into his own is a joy. We are finally moving away from the inconsolable baby phase and into the stage of self-play and discovery. It's magical. He's my little explorer and I love it! What is most exciting to a 9 month old? Toilet lids. Toilet paper rolls. Magazines he can rip apart. Calculators. Remote Controls. Blinds. Drawers. Cabinets. Notice NONE of those describe a baby toy. He is totally amused by all things REAL LIFE. Not plastic.

Coffee mugs

Computer Cords

Paper on doctor's table

Bekham is learning how to crawl up the stairs. Not like most babies. He does not put a knee down on the step, the WHOLE foot goes up. This kid already has some serious quad muscles! He just started saying "da" and "ga." No "ma" yet but I know when he says it,  he will know exactly what he's saying! He LOVE meat. Salmon, flounder, beef, and chicken are all in his repertoire! And not out of a baby food jar. He wants the real thing off of mom's plate. He recently started eating cereal. Not baby cereal. Cheerios and milk. He prefers that I feed him his cereal with an adult spoon. No baby spoons allowed. He loves peaches, kiwi, and cheese right now (all kinds). He LOVES grammie's bread. He is just a whole load of fun these days.

He travels nicely in his car seat (thank you Lord!) We go to a mom's Bible Study now and he does okay in the nursery. I have been called out every time so far, but I'm hopeful this won't be the trend forever! He does WONDERFUL in Church nursery (Waumba Land). He is just changing every single day!

His favorite thing to do is walk back and forth and push his walker around. He also prefers to chase balls around the kitchen floor. Round. And round. And round. Until they get stuck under the couch.

9 months sure is fun. I cannot believe we are 3 short months away from a year old already! He has leveled out a little bit on his growth. He currently weighs 19.9 pounds (just under 50th percentile) and measure 29.5 inches long (75th percentile). We personally think he is just the perfect size! Our new family tradition at night is to rough him up on the bed. He goes NUTS! May be hard to teach him that we DON'T jump on the bed when he's older. Hmmm....

A Sleep Update... and More.

Did I leave you hanging or what!? First, let me say thank you for all of the prayers and support many of you offered us as we tried our first attempt at sleep training Bekham. Unfortunately I am here to report it was not successful. All was going well for a couple days- better than expected actually, and then he started crying longer and in a more panicked way than he ever had previously. We also got out of sync as we had to go to Church and then out to lunch and he had no sleep since he had woken up that morning at 7. When we finally got home he was miserable and I just wanted to hold him and rock him to sleep. He also started cutting his front 2 teeth. All of this culminated to the point where I couldn't handle the crying/screaming as it was going anywhere from 1-2 hours with no sleep at the end of it. We would just get him up, feed him, and then he would take a short nap while eating and be beside himself the rest of his "awake time." I do know that it can get worse before it gets better. I do know that I didn't give it "Long enough." And I do know that he eventually would stop pulling up on the crib and just collapse if I let him go long enough, but neither Nick nor I could keep up the fight.

On the flip side- he no longer requires that we bounce him on an excerise ball. I don't even have to rock him. I just give him his blankie and a pacifier and he is out in my arms in about a minute or less. So the routine of putting him down has drastically decreased. The naps are short again which really bums me out. However- the success story here is that he is no longer swaddled. At night time he is still eating 2-3 times a night. It's wearing on me but I am going to let this happen for another 3-4 months. Nick and I decided to give sleep training another try in November when Nick would be off work for the holiday and could help out more without being exhausted at work the next day.

So thats the update on sleep training. In other news, my cousin and his girlfriend were able to travel down for a long weekend and visit. I SO wish they lived closer. I find myself saying this EVERY time I see family. I just hate that the people I love most and want to share life with are so very far away from me and now my little boy. Bekham loved Alex and Leslie. We didn't do much besides hang out and eat :) But it was a great weekend nonetheless. We also have finally gotten back into the routine of going to Church for the first time since we were plagued with hand foot and mouth. It was refreshing. This Sunday we go to our orientation for Bekham's baby dedication which I TOTALLY spaced out somehow. Bekham is crawling and pulling up on everything in sight. He's pretty sturdy but I know the bumps and falls are inevitable at this time. Its still a fun stage. He is just so very proud of himself every time he stands up on his own. The kid could stand unassisted if he wanted to, but he hasn't quite figured that out yet! I'm guessing we will have a walker by his first birthday!

More good news, Bekham is eating EVERYTHING in sight (as long as I am eating it too.) He hasn't thrown up anything recently. Our last episode was with spicy hummus. My bad. He loves my mom's homemade bread. He loves cheese. He loves cheerios. He loves apples. He loves squash. He loves sweet potatoes. Note: none of this in baby food form. He prefers chunks of real food. He LOVES yogurt. If mama is eating it, Bekham feels the need to be eating it as well :)

Well, that's all I have time for as my cat napper is already awake (after 30 minutes!)

Sleep Training and My Heart is Breaking

I have one purpose for this blog and only one. DISTRACTION. Bekham has shown me some signs of readiness for sleep training. He refuses to let me rock him, bounce him, sway him to sleep. He started refusing swaddle and pacifier (which was always the magic touch). He started waking up some nights every 45 minutes and was inconsolable to go back to sleep where as he usually would just nurse to sleep. So, unfortunately, and against my will and better judgement, I have decided to let him cry himself to sleep. My heart is physically hurting and in pain as I currently listen to him scream upstairs. This is the fourth go. Last night went pretty well with almost NO full fledge screaming. Today's first nap took 50 minutes of crying/whimpering/fussing before he passed out bent over from sitting up. The second nap took 30 minutes (more screaming involved in this one), same sleep position. Unfortunately, both of those naps only ended up being about 40 minutes each so he is absolutely exhausted. So, here we are, shooting for one more little nap before bed time. 15 minutes in and this one is the worst of the 4. He is standing up on crib and just wailing. It is against every instinct I have not to rush up there and scoop him up. But the worst thing is- if i do that- he doesn't settle down or fall asleep. So its really lose-lose. Either I get frustrated and clawed to death in the process of holding him, or physically feel my heart break while he screams upstairs all by himself.

Everyone says this is the way to go. I'm not convinced yet. I'll give it 5 days. And not one day more. Maybe I'll have a success story to post by then, and maybe not. I'm just so sad for him and sad for me. Sad that the days of rocking and holding my sleeping baby are over. Sad that he wakes up now screaming and scared instead of cooing and happy. I'm praying this is whats best for him. I do know with 100% certainty it is not a selfish decision for me. I'm not trying to get more "me-time," or more sleep, or more freedom. Selfishly, I want to be up there with him. I'm trying to view this as a sacrifice for his good and as one of the first hard parenting decisions of many to come.

I. HATE. THIS.

31 Ways to Pray for your Children: A Heart for Evangelism

Well we made it! Somehow! 31 days straight of blogging. This will most likely NEVER happen again! I would however challenge everyone to go back and pray these prayers each day of the month for your children. I know I am going to try!

Today's prayer of the day is for A Heart for Evangelism. Such a big prayer that we should all be praying for ourselves as well as our families! Psalm 96:3 says, "Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!"

Heavenly Father, please help Bekham to develop a heart for the spread of Your gospel. Give him a desire to see your glory declared among the nations and your marvelous works declared among all peoples. Give him opportunities around him to share Your gospel, and if it's in your will, give him opportunities to go out to other countries that need to hear it as well.

31 Ways to Pray for your Children: Gratitude

Oh another Monday. At least we have the Olympics to make it go by just slightly quicker than normal! I watched the women's volleyball team dominate Brazil today and just finished watching Misty May and Kari dominate beach volleyball. Gosh I love volleyball and truly miss playing! Bekham was a blast today. He is officially contained in his playroom with baby gates. This afternoon we went to the pool and he went all the way under water. He couldn't have cared less! He is such a water bug.

Today's prayer of the day is for Gratitude. Colossians 2:7 says, "Rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving." Ephesians 5:20 says "Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

God I pray that Bekham would always be filled with gratitude. Give Nick and I the wisdom to raise and parent his heart to be thankful for everything rather than entitled like the rest of his generation. Let him always see blessings, both small and big. May he never take one day for granted, but be filled with thankfulness and gratitude that You've given him another day to live for Your glory.

31 Ways to Pray for Your Children: Prayerfulness

Whew. What a day. From restocking the house with groceries after being gone a week to child proofing parts of our house ... yesterday was a productive day! I even made dinner at 2pm and my own batch of hummus. Rocked it out yesterday. If only I was always that good at being a home maker. Unfortunately, our day ended with projectile vomiting, yet again. I blame myself this time. Bekham didn't like the taste of my hummus so I gave him some store bought hummus, which he DOWNS. However, it was roasted red pepper and I'm guessing his little belly didn't agree with that choice! So, I held my sick little boy while watching USA gymnasts kick butt! Gosh I love them. Slightly bummed that we only took silver in men's swimming relay, but, better than not medaling at all I suppose!

Today's prayer of the day is for Prayerfulness. Say that 5 times fast :) "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people." Ephesians 6:18.

God, I pray that Bekham would understand the power of prayer from a young age. Keep his childhood prayers active as he grows. Let his faith in answered prayer never cease or waiver. Let his first reaction, in all circumstances, be prayer. Whether it be a prayer of thanksgiving or a prayer for help- let him always go to You first and foremost. 

31 Ways to Pray for Your Children: Self-Discipline

Well, we made it home! We took off early this morning and arrived in around 3pm! SO nice to have most of the day left to unpack, start laundry, and get back in the swing of things. Bek did OK in the car! Not great, not terrible! So glad to be home. First chore on the TO DO list. CHILD PROOFING. I'll let you know how that goes.

Today's prayer of the day is for Self-Discipline. Proverbs 1:3 says "for receiving instruction in prudent behavior, doing what is right and just and fair." 1 Corinthians 9:27 says, "No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

God, I pray that you would give Bekham self-discipline. I pray he would have this in SO many aspects of his life. From what he eats, to what he lets his eyes see, to what comes out of his mouth. There are so many arenas in life that require self-discipline, but there are so many temptations for men in these arenas. I do pray that Bekham would make his body a slave as Paul says in order to run the race you've chosen for him. I pray that he would not do anything that would disqualify him for the prize of following You and Your instruction.

I'm sorry, but this picture had to be posted due to Bekham's hair :)

31 Ways to Pray for Your Children: Passion for God

Happy 8 months old Bekham Nicholas Sharp!! I cannot believe we are 4 months away from having a 1 year old. C-R-A-Z-Y. Crazier that we've had 0 decent night sleeps the past 8 months. Ah well- its all worth it! Today concluded our week at Holden Beach. Although vacation was extremely different this year than in year pasts, it was still good to be with family that we don't see but once or twice a year. Bekham's cousins LOVE him. He is a little unsure of so many little hands and faces around him all the time, but for the most part- he would smile or give kisses to all of them. They will be buddies soon enough. Bek just has to warm up to NOT being the only child in the room :) Unfortunately, our dessert was beat out this year by my mother-in-law. Time to start brainstorming for next year!! You'd think a year of preparation would achieve a winning dessert but who knows!

Today's prayer of the day for my 8 month old baby is to have Passion for God. Could there BE a better prayer for the 27th of each month?! I think not! Psalm 63:8 says "My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me."

God, I desire nothing more than for Bekham to have a heart and a passion for You and Your kingdom. I want him to love you first and foremost all the days of his life. I want others to see his passion and be attracted to You because of it.

(This photo is not from the beach, but its too cute NOT to post!)

31 Ways to Pray for Your Children: Willingness and Ability to Work Hard

Well today is Thursday and the week is drawing to a rapid close. Today two of my nieces and I entered the dessert challenge with a Walking on Sunshine themed cupcake and presentation (music included!) They had a ball! We all wore yellow dresses and Hawaiian leis. We will see if we win- its a tough competition here at Holden Beach!

Today's prayer of the day is for Willingness and Ability to Work Hard. The verse that goes with this prayers is a familiar one from Colossians 3:23- "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if working for the Lord and not for men."


God, I pray that you would give Bekham the willingness and ability to do his work with all his heart. Teach him to do everything, big or small, to the best of his ability. Give him the desire to work hard. Give him a healthy body to work hard. Give him motivation and drive to work hard. But most of all, give him the willingness to do it all for You.

31 Ways to Pray for Your Children: Hope

This post will be short and maybe not so sweet. I'm exhausted and should be sleeping along with my child. My child, who by the way, is logging awesome naps every day, but yet always tired and cranky in between naps and night time. Just cannot figure him out!

Today's prayer of the day is for Hope. Lord knows we need hope! Romans 15:13 says "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." The most wonderful thing I've learned about Biblical hope is that it is an indication of certainty- a confident expectation. Often times we use the word hope as a "wish" or expectation without certainty. The scriptural meaning is strong. It is not static or passive. It's dynamic, and its active. As one author puts it, "A Biblical hope is not an escape from reality or from problems. It doesn't leave us idle, drifting, or just rocking on the front porch. If our hope is biblical and based on God's promises, it will put is in gear." Biblical hope changes how we see ourselves, what we value, it affects what we do with our lives. Biblical hope gives us joy and peace (hence Romans 15:13). It gives us protection. It gives us strength, courage, and boldness. It gives us endurance, comfort, and confidence in the face of death. 


Jesus, I thank you that we do have hope in You, even in the face of death. I thank you that our salvation is our hope in you. I pray that Bekham would understand this hope the moment he accepts you as his Lord and Savior. I pray that he would truly live a Spirit filled life so that he may overflow with hope. Help him understand that his hope in you is confident and strong. Its certain. It is not merely a wish or a desire.

31 Ways to Pray for your Children: A Servant's Heart

 Well- today was quite a day. After essentially no sleep last night, Bekham still insisted on waking up at 6:30. So I bounced him, but him down around 7 and took off for my first run since hurting my back. I ran 4.5 miles which felt AWESOME, however, Bekham woke up about 10 minutes after I left. He was literally up fussing every 30-45 minutes. All night long. The kid is wearing me out. He still napped well during the day, but he wakes up yawning, rubbing his eyes, and fussy. He just can't catch up from the bad nights I guess. Meanwhile, I'm losing my mind. In many ways. He won't really go to anyone except Nick or me so there's no break. Maybe he would like going to other people if he was actually well rested, but, no explanation needed. He hates the ocean here. The waves are big and loud I guess. He won't even get down on the sand to even TRY crawling. He likes the pool but the pool only lasts 30-45 minutes and he starts to wear out, again, because he's so tired. He's hard here. With that said, I need to move onto PRAYER.

Today's prayer of the day is for A Servant's Heart. Ephesians 6:7 says "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people." 

God, I thank you for Bekham, but I am praying for a miracle for this child's sleep habits. His napping is certainly an answer to prayer, but I don't think this kid will be 100% content until he can figure out how to get decent sleep at night. Please help all 3 of us. Give Nick and I wisdom as we decide how to handle it. Please just give Bekham restful sleep. Period. Despite what Nick and I may or may not do right or wrong. I am so tired. Thank you for giving me the energy and strength each day to do this job on low fuel. Some days I honestly don't know how I pull it off- but I realize those days are YOU. I pray for Bekham's heart. Give him a heart of service Lord. Let him love serving other people and meeting their needs. Let him truly see serving others as serving and honoring you. Grab a hold of his heart at a young age Jesus and break his heart for what breaks Yours. Use his hands and feet to be Yours in service to other people.

31 Ways to Pray for Your Children: Faith

Well we arrived safely and are in Holden Beach, NC. A few minor set backs (supposedly we were supposed to bring our own bath towels ... whoops!)... I forgot Bekham's white noise fan ... thankful for the white noise app on my iPhone! Makeshift rocking chair is out on the back deck, but the fresh air seems to help him calm down at night. Note to self: when buying new house, build deck of Bekham's (or future baby's) room and then purchase outdoor rockers. I wish. After making an early morning run to Walmart, we came home and Bekham slept an hour and a half. When he woke up, we headed to the beach/pool and then he went down for a whopping 2 hour nap. I was able to play volleyball with my sister-in-law and even chill on the beach for awhile. After he woke up, we swam some more, then showered and got ready for dinner... and then he took another nap. At an hour, we had to go interrupt him as there were birthday presents that needed attended to in the room Bekham was sleeping in. Maybe he'll use this week to catch up on 8 months of missed sleep. Hah. I wish. Tonight was night number two of our family dessert challenge. (We missed night number 1). However, they set the bar HIGH. Here's hoping our dessert stands out somehow come Thursday- check back in if you want to hear the results!

Today's prayer of the day is FAITH. Luke 17:5-6 says, "The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!" He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you." 

God- I do pray that Bekham would have great faith. Let him take you at your Word. Let him believe that You are who You say You are and that You can do what You say you are going to do. (Anthem from a Beth Moore Bible Study). Let him always do things to the best of his ability, but take leaps of faith that you can fill in the gaps. I pray that his faith would be strong and that you would accomplish mighty works through him.

31 Ways to Pray for your Children: Contentment

Well, we are heading to the beach this afternoon so I figured I'd better blog early. Doubting I'll be up to the task at 8pm (or later) after being on the road all day and trying to set up sleeping arrangements for the little man!

Today's prayer of the day is for Contentment. The verse to go along with it is Philippians 4:12-13 which says, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

 Father, help Bekham learn the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need, through Christ who can strengthen him in any and every circumstance. I pray that he would always be content with what he is and not get caught up in the "comparison trap." Give him only what he needs so that he is able to keep his eyes on YOU and not things of this world. I pray that he would also be content with how you made and created him. Help him be content with how he looks and with the gifts and talents you give him. God- my bigger prayer here is for myself. I often thing I "need" more and more THINGS. I often criticize myself for the way I think I look. Teach ME to be content with what I have and strengthen me through Christ when its hard or difficult to do so.