Discovering God through a baby.

I know, 2 posts in 24 hours, right? Don't get used to it :)

Yesterday was a very hard day.  Yesterday was not an easy day compared to the other days of the past 4 weeks. At the end of the day, when Bekham was down for the night (Thank God I can count on long sleep cycles at night!) I started praying which is very normal for me these days. I find the best prayer time I have is at the end of the day when I am crawling in bed, literally at the end of myself. Many revelations invaded my prayer time. First and foremost: my prayer started with me selfishly telling God how exhausted I was and begging for an easier day tomorrow. Almost immediately, this is what invaded my mind: as hard as today was ... my boy is alive and well (believe me ... the way he cries ... his lungs are healthy as can be). I have been reading so many blogs lately that are heart breaking and I feel as though it would be selfish to ever complain about a bad day with a boy who is living, breathing, and healthy. I know there are many other moms that would give anything to have a baby crying and screaming and count it as a blessing. I immediately changed my selfish prayers to an outpouring of gratitude for the gift I've been given and entrusted wtih. As I reflected on my relationship with Bekham, my eyes were opened to God's desires for relationship with us. My mind just kept thinking of so many similarities between God's love for us and desires for us and how it parallels my love and desire for Bekham. I hope I can express in words what was going through my head last night! If i don't do it now, I'll never remember!!

1. When Bekham is crying and screaming (usually due to hunger or colic)- I just want to tell him to open his eyes! There is someone right in front of his face willing to give him what he needs, to comfort him, to provide for him, to be everything he needs in that moment. But often times he just leaves his eyes closed and continues to cry out. I can't help but imagine this is what we look like or act like with God. If things aren't going our way, or if we have a desperate need or desire that we think we cannot live without, God is literally right there waiting to be that comfort, that provider, everything we need at that moment. Can I open my eyes and see Him? Run to Him? Rest in Him?

2. Often times Bekham will get in a zone and just stare at a fan. Or a rattle toy. Or the ceiling. Even window sills, door frames, lights, walls, the list goes on. I call his name over and over again. I stroke his face. I make ridiculous noises. All in an effort to get his attention. To speak to him while holding eye contact with him. While often times, I am successful, there are definite times when he will NOT break his stare with inanimate objects. Again, I think of God competing with all of the distractions in our world. (Which are significantly more exciting than ceilings, walls, and fans). Do I refuse to hear God's voice or His calling because I am too distracted by things of this world? Is he calling my name but I am too focused on something else to notice, to hear?

3. Because Bekham has colic, there are many times it seems he is just going to cry it out and there is nothing anyone can do to stop him or alleviate his situation. However, if I hold him and rock him and sing to him and shush him long enough, he eventually gives in, goes completely limp, and sleeps harder than ever when he is in my arms. In the cradle he may last 1-2 hours. In the crib, 5-10 minutes. In my arms or on my chest- he sleeps so soundly I often have to move to wake him. His sleep is deepest with me. He fights and fights and fights, but when he gives in, its angelic sleep and he is more peaceful than ever. I feel like this is how we are with God. We may fight his plan and his will, but eventually, if we give in, truly rest in his embrace, the rest is peaceful and it is good and it is perfect. And we will be most content there. We may find rest in people, or in things, but this pleasure is temporary. Rest with our Creator is eternal.

There were so many others that came to mind- like knowing Bekham's needs before he does. When he wakes up ready to eat, I am not dumbfounded. When he needs a new diaper, I am not surprised nor caught off guard. I have diapers and wipes ready. His milk supply is always within reach for him.

There are things I do for him that he hates and cause him discomfort, but are for his best interest. Like putting lotion on after a bath. He hates it. Am I doing it because he's been bad? Or because I'm punishing him? No, I'm doing it because I know his dry skin needs lotion and its what is best for him. Does he like stripping down at the doctor's office? No, but I know whats best for him despite how he perceives it.

I haven't even hit on the obvious one: Unconditional love. I feel like any parent grasps that concept of our God immediately upon the birth of their child. There's no doubt in my mind God's love for us is unconditional. If I can love my son the way I do, my mind cannot begin to grasp how much God must love His creation.

So thank you Lord- for giving me such tangible examples of the relationship you desire with me. Thank you that you have used this little boy to draw me closer to you. Thank you for teaching me more about yourself through this precious little life.

Remember December

I should be sleeping right now instead of blogging. My sweet little peanut has been fighting me since 7am to take a decent nap. He seems to believe 5-10 minutes is sufficient and then he would like to eat again... whether his last feeding was half an hour ago, or 5 minutes ago. Can't say I'm thrilled with this pattern of behavior. He refuses to sleep longer than 10 minutes in his crib.. THIS IS A PROBLEM.

Big things have been happening since I last posted! It's crazy that its been 3 weeks since then. Time is already flying (even though some days I swear its crawling!) We are finally, successfully, breastfeeding normally/naturally. I am so thankful for this answer to prayer. I could not have maintained the other regimen I was on. As soon as I put a call into the lactation department at North Fulton, Bekham shaped up! And I am so just so proud of him! No more nipple shields. No more pumping. I feel like a free woman. Well, until today, when I tried every possible trick to get this kid to sleep and he still refused. Finally got him at 3:15pm. We started the day at 7:00am. Little stinker. Had me in tears most of the day. Good thing he's cute. Somehow, he managed to smile every time I looked at him with tears running down my face. Not sure if this is a God-thing, or if he just thinks I look funny when I cry. I suppose it doesn't really matter. I have the cutest kid in the world.

December was eventful for us. We saw Santa. Correction. I saw Santa. Bekham slept through the entire event. We made gingerbread houses. We went to Jackson's Christmas play. We went to my office dinner party. We went to our small group Christmas party. Bekham was a champ for every event. Mostly sleeping in the car seat, but he behaved nonetheless! Trips to Publix, Walmart, and stores of the like have not had such high success rates, but we will get there. (I must tell myself this or I'll go crazy.) Thankfully Mom has still been helping out and giving me opportunities to get to the store, get some shut eye, cook dinner, etc. I'm working my way into doing everything alone. She's weaning me.

Well, my baby is a month old already. Sounds older than it really is. Only 4 weeks ago I was pushing this sweet, smiling, cooing bundle out of my body. 4 weeks is not that long ago in my mind. Now he's already outgrown his adorable newborn outfits, he enjoys baths, he smiles and talks to me while changing him, and he engages with his toys. Its amazing to watch how much he changes day to day. He has already gained 2 pounds (Possibly more- we go to the doctor tomorrow). Clearly he's a boy and enjoys food, just like his daddy (and mommy...)

Let's see, other events of the month

1. Bekham developed colic. We purchased Gripe Water. Thank God for Gripe Water. The best part about his colic episodes are when he reaches the end and falls asleep INSTANTLY cheek to cheek with me. Gosh I love it.
2. Bekham caught pink eye. We purchased drops for $125 thanks to not having insurance quite yet.
3. Bekham's first Christmas. He didn't sleep through this event! Bek made out VERY well this year for having no idea what was going on!!
4. Bekham met his Aunt Kelly and Uncle Tim for the first time. He loved them both!
5. Bekham had Face Time with family in PA. He was awake for it! Spit up for them live!
6. Bekham slept in his crib for the first time. Short and sweet, but he still did it.

Surely I've left out 100 other things that have happened. December is a crazy month! I will ATTEMPT to be more diligent about blogging more often to avoid my forgetfulness! 

Highlights of December in photos:

 Wouldn't have my sanity without Grammie!

 Nothing beats post-bath Bekham!

 Bek's first gingerbread house, in all blues :)

 Santa with the little elf!

 He was a sleepy boy this day!

 I feel as if I can never quite capture his angelic sleep face.

 I mean just look at this boy! I could eat him up!

 So he's made more attractive faces than this, but these were his Christmas Eve jammies!

Again, post-bath pictures. YUM!

The Joys of Motherhood

Wow I was really hoping to be better about blogging while Bekham was napping! There is just too much to do when that boy falls asleep and usually that is to eat. It seems impossible to find time to eat- and when I do- its often with one hand and becomes a balancing act! If I'm not eating, I'm usually pumping, sterilizing, tidying up the house, washing dirty baby clothes etc. I do NOT know how I will manage when my Mom leaves. She has been a God send! Not only does she help keep the house in order, watch him when I shower, handle and coordinate dinners, do laundry, dishes, etc., but she takes Bekham after his last feeding at night (usually 10:30pm) and stays awake with him, then puts him in our room when he falls asleep a little after midnight and it lets me get a good 2 hour start on sleep! Lately Bekham has been logging 4-5 hours between this 10:30 feeding and his next, which means I am getting that much straight sleep (until Mom leaves...) It is glorious. He has already synced himself into a little schedule. He takes a good, solid 3-4 hour nap after his 8:00 feeding, then he has off and on awake time through the rest of the day. The hours between 4-7 tend to be his witching hours. He wants to eat non stop, and if he isn't eating, he's crying and rooting like you haven't fed him in days. He makes me laugh! Once he gets over his episode around dinner time- he eats about every 2 hours, and then, as I stated above, logs a good long sleep for me until about 3:00am.

I love being a mom already! It is a demanding schedule. We change a diaper. We nurse for a good 30 minutes to an hour. Then I pump for a good 20-30 minutes. By the time I sterilize all the equipment and sit down to eat or prop my feet up, we are on the countdown to the next feeding session! It is a never ending cycle! It's crazy. Often times I tell myself formula would be SO much easier, but I just can't compromise the health benefits of my milk, so as long as he's eating it, we are going to go for it. Plus, there is just nothing like the time I spend nursing him. It's just the best bond I have with him. And when he's finished, he snuggles right up against my chest and there is truly no greater feeling in the world. My guilty pleasure is to fall asleep with him like this in the mornings around 6:00am and it is pure bliss.

The biggest challenge we have right now is getting Bekham to latch on. We are currently using a nipple shield to get him to nurse, but slowly, we are attempting to wean him off of the crutch! Today, he finally successfully latched on for 2 feedings after I tricked him into thinking the nipple shield was on!

The biggest milestones of week 1: Bekham got his first bath (and second, and third) and his cord has fallen off (YIPEE!) Bekham was CONSTANTLY soaking through outfits due to the folded down diapers to accommodate his cord. Now finally we can put the diapers on as they should go on! It's the small things in life now :) Well, as promised, here are some pictures of our sweet new baby boy! We are madly in love and thankful for such a precious miracle!

Getting his first bath. Not sure how we captured this shot since he was literally SCREAMING through this entire process!

 First family photo! So glad the labor was over at this moment in time!

I love this face despite the classic hospital swaddler! This is just the sweetest face I've ever laid eyes on!

 

Dressed and ready to take our bundle of joy home!

Going home!!!

Swaddled in Grammie's arms

Love this face. Yep- in his white tee.

First bath. He is just so tiny, I love it!

Baby feet!

I melt every time I look at this picture.

Nothing better than when we lock eyes!

Don't you love him!?

His Grammie made this quilt, had to get a shot of the quilt tag!

There are so many more, believe me. I just don't want to go out of control! Signing off for now!

Birthing Bekham!

I was really hoping to get around to this a lot sooner. I was obviously unfamiliar with the demands of a newborn! However, I'd take the lack of sleep any day over having spare time to blog. This miracle of a life is absolutely precious. The love I have for him is immeasurable and the coolest thing about it is that this little boy had done NOTHING to earn it. So cool to think about God's love for all of us in this new perspective.

Anyways, I really wanted to share Bekham's birth story for many reasons. Primarily because it was a major life changing event for me and I don't want to forget one detail of the process, but also because some people have asked to hear the story! Pretend this is TiVo and I am hitting rewind from where we are today!

Saturday afternoon, while watching the Iron Bowl, I began feeling consistent, mild contractions. By consistent I mean about every 5 minutes. By mild, I mean, I could easily continue with the activities I was doing without a problem (showering, getting ready for the night, watching TV etc.) I called my mid-wife and she said to take a bath or drink a lot of water- sounded like I could be dehydrated. Well, I drank water, but didn't have time to get in the bath as we were heading over for my sister-in-law's birthday dinner. Once Nick and I were both ready, I made sure we had all of our bags packed, simply because I knew the mild pain I was experiencing was something I had never had before and something was up. We headed over for a family birthday party and I basically laid on the couch the entire time. Eventually almost everyone was in there with me watching me track my contractions. We ended up leaving about 2 hours later to go home and try to labor for awhile before making a decision about going to the hospital. Again, at this point, I could pretty much continue normal activity while having the contractions. We decided to drive through Chick-fil-A as I hadn't eaten since about 1pm. Knowing there could be a long night ahead of us, I got some food in my stomach. Praise the Lord!

We got home and I decided to bake some birthday cupcakes to share with the nursing staff to honor their assistance in bringing Bekham into the world. Literally, as soon as they were done, cooled, and frosted, we made the decision to go to North Fulton. They were starting to get stronger and more frequent, although still nothing unbearable or concerning. Once we got there, Diane, our midwife, came to check my progress. As of Wednesday, my last appointment, I was 4cm. I laid on the table and said, "Please don't tell me I'm still 4cm." Well, she did. She suggested we walk the halls for an hour and then come back to make the decision to stay or go home. Well, as soon as we started walking, they started increasing in intensity. After about an hour and half, we talked to Diane and decided to stay. They were getting painful enough to where neither Nick nor myself wanted to be anywhere but the hospital. About another half hour later, we were admitted and in our labor and delivery room. Let me pause here to say, I had a bag of tricks packed to handle contractions and labor. Never unzipped the bag. Never handed a nurse my birth plan! All of that was completely out the window once the contractions hit! It's actually laughable now. HOWEVER. My midwife knew I wanted to go natural and that was all she needed to know to help make it happen the way I envisioned it.

We were hooked up to the monitor to make sure they could get a reactive strip on Bekham during my contractions. This part was miserable. At first I had to take the contractions laying in bed (the worst!) Eventually, Nick asked the nurse if I could at least stand up as i couldn't handle them on my back. She let us stand up and we watched each contraction come and go. Peak, and then release. It was awful. As they started to come, I would just reach up and put my hands around Nick's neck and we would rock back and forth. He would do as much as he could to console and encourage me. He was AMAZING. I wouldn't trade him for a doula! They stated to get incredibly painful and we called a nurse in to ask for a check. Diane came and said we were at 6cm and suggested I try laboring in the tub and shower. So we did that. Probably for about an hour and then even that got to be too much for me. Talk about a humbling experience. It was at this time in labor that I realized there was no more conservative laboring. I drank some juice, then we went back to the room and I laid on the bed again as the standing was getting too painful as well. At this point- I was miserable and inconsolable. I was crying and hyperventilating in between contractions and started with the "I can't do this!" Nick continually asked me if I wanted the epidural and I kept saying no. At this point- I said I needed help. He called a nurse in, and she was great. She told me we had options before the epidural. I still am not 100% sure of what they gave me, but it didn't stop the pain. It just mellowed me out. It was a narcotic and it made me fall into somewhat of a daze. It actually helped in between contractions, but no relief during the contractions. It got so bad again, the nurse checked me, and at this point we were 9cm! The nurse went to get Diane and she told me she could break my water to get me to 10cm. That's what we did. I was sobbing like a baby at this point. We had no more options for pain medicine as we were to the pushing point. I remember telling Diane I was too scared of the pain to keep going. She kept assuring me this was the end. I could do it. I believed her... somehow! Well, this started a literal hellish experience.

Pushing was the hardest thing I have ever gone through/felt/experienced. It was also taxing on Nick. The nurses asked him to sit down, offered him cool wash rags, and Gingerale. He was about to pass out! I was the obnoxious person that screams out loud in the movies and on TV. It took us over an hour to get this cone head out! I was pushing through my legs and halting his progress. I could feel myself refusing to push when it came time. Finally, the nurses told me his heart rate was dropping and I needed to get him out. That was obviously all I needed to hear to get him out. With legs shaking uncontrollably, I pushed like I was expelling ORGANS from my body. It was so uncomfortable and awful. But then out he came and Diane handed him right to me. SCREAMING. Best noise ever! I apologized to him over and over again for giving him a cone head. We got to hold him like this for about an hour before anyone took him from us. It was bliss. Nick cut the cord, and when he did, Bekham grabbed the scissors! It was hilarious! The rest is a blur. My mom and Nick's mom came to see him. They took him for his Vitamin K shot and sponge bath. I was forced to go to the bathroom and try to pee. Let me tell you (sorry if any males happen to be reading this)- that is just MEAN to ask a woman to push pee out after she just pushed a child out (and tore a little). I sat there for a good 10 minutes- legs and body quivering- and the nurse kept asking if I had gone to the bathroom. I literally looked at her at the end of the 10 minutes and said, "This really isn't going to happen right now." She let me get up at that point and I managed to walk to the wheel chair to go to our recovery room. Oh. My. Gosh. The pain that followed the labor was awful. Sitting hurt. Walking hurt. Going to the bathroom hurt. Getting in and out of bed hurt. I have never asked for so much help in my whole life, but I could not take care of myself for a good 12 hours. (Things no one tells you when you are pregnant!)

The rest will be in my memory forever (and in pictures to come)! I couldn't possibly blog every single detail of this amazing experience, but I wanted to get as much of it out as possible! Bekham entered our world on November 27th at 4:22am. He weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. He appears to have reddish hair, but its hard to be completely sure at this point. He has long fingers and long toes and he is absolutely perfect in every way imaginable! The main take aways I want to remember about this birth:

1. My husband was an incredible ROCK for me during the entire process. Never once was he distracted/checking his phone etc. He was touching me and talking to me through every pain and every moment of my labor. I have never felt so close to him as I have over the past 4 days. He has loved me in ways I cannot describe, but I am so thankful for him.

2. My midwife was a blessing from God. She took me as a patient at 36 weeks and was there to deliver this baby for me 4 weeks later. She acted like she had known me her entire life and she acted like this child inside of me was her own. Always calling him cutie when she checked on him along the way. She was a source of spiritual encouragement and physical encouragement. She knew I wanted this baby naturally and she did everything in her power to make it happen. I am so thankful for that woman. I couldn't have done it without her.

I will be posting pictures in future posts. I just needed to get the story out while it was all still so fresh on my mind. I cannot thank God enough for this miracle. He is a pure joy and I love him with my entire heart. I have probably kissed him over a million times. I have probably told him I loved him over a hundred times. This child is an answer to so many prayers of mine and desires of my heart. I have wanted him since I was old enough to babysit and he is finally here. Thank the Lord for a healthy pregnancy, a healthy labor, and a healthy boy! This is truly a memory that will be engrained in my memory for all time.

Nearing 40 Weeks and Feeling Frustrated

Well, before I begin the mini vent session, I need to start from the beginnin of last week...

Last Tuesday, I had just gotten back from the doctor's office and had my first official "exam." I just need to brag on Diane Tandy, the midwife at Gifts from Grace. I told her I was terrified of this exam and had heard horror stories of the pain. She reassured me that there was no reason for the exam to be painful. She told me to squeeze her finger if it was hurting me. Let me tell you, my grip on her finger was as relaxed as if I were falling asleep. This woman is a God-send. She explained everything she was doing the entire time and I was never the least bit uncomfortable. I am so thankful for this woman! She told me I was about 2cm dilated, my cervix is 90% effaced and the baby's head is at zero station! All positive progress where I'm concerned! She said she would be "seeing me soon" and didn't necessarily mean at my next appointment! I know that things can stay the same for a week, or more, and it's probably very likely I'll be back in the office this week still waiting for this baby, but, it's good to know that my body is preparing. It makes induction seem like a non-issue at this point, which is also an answer to prayer!

HOWEVER, here it is Monday, November 20th, a mere 5 days away from D-day. (Due Day). Frustration has set in and I feel like this baby is never going to come on his own. I've had maybe a total of 5 painful contractions, none of them severe enough to even think maybe we are close to labor. Braxton Hicks are going non-stop, but they are just never painful. I just stare at my belly and say JUST HURT ALREADY! That doesn't work. I'm sure you were all wondering. I've told this baby day after day that he can come and we are ready for him. He either doesn't understand me (100% possible) or is just that stubborn. I have been praying earnestly for the past 2 weeks (once we safely reached full term) that "today would be the day." Those prayers obviously haven't been answered. I've asked God for just one good contraction that would let me know my body is going to be able to deliver this baby at some point. No luck. I know I cannot push my plans or my will on God's will and I'm really not trying to. It's more of a plea that "today would be the day God wants to bring him." So far my plea has yet to align with God's will. After going to Church on Sunday, I was reminded that everything about my life and everything that goes on in my life is for God's glory. Not my own. I am merely reflecting the God of the universe. If I were to really try to plan my own due date and take credit for doing so, would that be bringing Him any glory at all? No. But at the same time, I just feel like I am praying to no one. I feel no peace or comfort in this time of waiting. 2 of my friends had their babies this weekend which just makes my wait even more difficult. I just want to hold this baby in my arms, not waddle around with him in my belly.

Alright. Enough. I'm going to move on. However, I needed to get the true "emotion" out in order to really move past the issue. Lord give me patience.

The rest of the week was great. Friday night we went to dinner with my whole family which was a nice treat. We hardly see my brother and sister-in-law, so it was nice to have an evening out with them! Saturday I did get my nails done AGAIN. Just in case THIS is the week I need pretty feet. Then Nick and I had a date afternoon and went to a matinee and then dinner. Then came Sunday. One of the highlights of the week/weekend. I love Christmas. A whole lot. But when it comes to food, Thanksgiving holds my heart. Well... my family's recipes hold my heart. I can eat like a man on this holiday and Sunday was it for us this year! Again, my whole family was there and it was such a blessing. Jackson asked me at one point, "When are you gonna take your baby out? After dinner?" I wish. If only Jackson were a visionary. Although, we all know he thought Bekham/Fenwick was a girl, so I never held out hope he was seeing the future!

I said Sunday was one of the highlights of my week. Another was when my husband surprised me early with my "push gift." Some of you may wonder why he did this early, but, I will explain. It's a camera/recorder that I will obviously need to have handy in the delivery room, but it is a nice camera! Oh I love it! Nick loves it too. I think he's more excited to use it than I am!! Good thing.. he'll be the photographer when baby B makes his appearance.

Well- that's all for now. I am going to update this post with pictures later on today, but, I haven't transferred them from the camera to my computer quite yet! If you are reading this, please join me in praying for this boy to make his arrival this week. In all seriousness, I am to the point of tears each morning I wake up and have no signs of labor. I don't know why I am so affected by this right now, but I am, so any and all prayers for my sanity and this baby's birthday are much appreciated!

And Bekham, you've heard this a million times from me, but COME ON OUT! We are ready and waiting! Love you, and hope to see you soon! -Mom

Awaiting our Autumn Arrival at 38 Weeks!

Another week has come and gone and we are still pregnant. I realize that 40 weeks is normal, and hoping to deliver early was only ever a HOPE, not a reality, but... that hope was very alive for a very long time. Now I have a feeling we'll be pushing 41 weeks, but we shall see! I still like to think that we may have a little man this week!

A lot happened for us this week. As you know, we frantically switched doctors about two weeks ago. Well.. this week, we had to switch hospitals! At my appointment on Tuesday, the doctor told us our only option was to deliver at North Fulton. So... Tuesday afternoon, Nick and I headed straight to the hospital for a maternity tour. To be honest, it paled in comparison to Northside Forsyth, BUT, the nurses seemed awesome (especially the one that led the tour). She expressed how basically everything is the mom's decision from the moment she walks in. They are very "natural birth" friendly. I could tell we would be most comfortable here despite the fact that it wasn't our first choice. The labor and delivery rooms are nice- we just weren't too thrilled with the postpartum rooms. But hey- its 24-48 hours right? We can make it! So, after getting our deductible back from Northside, and spending another half our in the week filling out paperwork for North Fulton, we are officially switched! Hopefully the last minute stressors are BEHIND us! At least I'm praying that's the case!

On a lighter note, my mom brought over some take out from Ippolito's on Thursday night! The Eggplant Parmesan had absolutely no effect on me. Not even one minor contraction! That's okay. I never really believed it would happen like that for me anyways! It was fun to try. It was even on a full moon and everything. Clearly God has a different time frame in mind for baby B! I've been walking like crazy at the gym- no luck there either. I am very anxious to go to the doctor tomorrow and see what our status is! Not so much looking forward to the process of finding out, but more of the results after the fact!

My mom (Grammie) also bought Bekham a new outfit for when we get pictures taken at the hospital! It's a precious outfit that I am not posting here, simply because, it needs to make its first debut ON our son! And oh I just cannot wait! It is yummy! She also got him a couple long sleeve onesies ... I somehow managed to accumulate ZERO of those! Then, on Friday and Sunday, we managed to take a couple maternity shots outside as the leaves were at their peak color! I had wanted to get some taken professionally, but, decided we could save our money and just have my Mom get a couple good ones for the memory! I am satisfied with the results!

The rest of the weekend was pretty lazy. My sister-in-law had her baby, Elizabeth Sophia, on Friday night, so we went to the hospital Saturday to visit. I was hoping Bekham would get the urge to join the party, but again, no such luck! It did however present the reality of a newborn to me! I can't believe I'll have one of my own any day now. Slightly frightening, but mostly exhilarating! We did decorate the inside of our house for Christmas (just in case the little guy comes before we had time to get ready!) The outdoor lights will wait until after Thanksgiving, but everything else is decked for the season... That's not true. I do need to find a stocking for B! I have plenty of time for that though! I do also still need to find some garland for the mantle, but all in due time!

Well I think that about sums it up! Here are some of the pictures I mentioned from our fall photo shoot! I will just share some of my favorites ... !

Yes, the photo above does look like I've stuffed a pumpkin under my shirt. I promise its my child!

 Yeah!! Nick finally made the blog! He felt like a cheese ball taking these shots.. it was on the side of the road, but he was a champ! Thanks babe!

Alright baby boy. The time is right! Come meet us!!!

"Full Term" at 37 Weeks!

Well we made it to what is considered "Full Term." Chances are, this little boy will be happy to stay where he's at for 4 more weeks, but it's nice to know that any day could be the day! I anxiously await each ache and pain that a new day brings. Lately its just been a lot of cramping and a LOT of tightening/Braxton Hicks. Why can't real contractions be as painless as Braxton Hicks!? That's what I'd like to know!

Nothing too eventful took place this week, with the exception of a horrible week at work. I can't remember a time I felt as stressed out as I did this past week. I could physically feel the stress weighing on my chest. (This is another reason you should come baby boy! Momma needs her maternity leave!) But alas, we made it through that week and Bekham is stronger because of it. Literally. It's as if he is trying to bust out my sides. I tell him each time, if you would only work so hard to get DOWN and not OUT we could both be a lot more comfortable. He'll have none of it! This week, Eggplant Parmesan from Scalini's is on the menu for 11/10/11. Chances are, absolutely nothing will come of it, but it can't hurt to try! Everything else is ready and waiting. Had my hair appointment this past weekend to brighten up my highlights (for hospital pictures of course!) I have a fresh manicure and pedicure as of this evening! I'd say the bags are packed, but I just refuse to do that until I start getting contractions. It's not like we'll be rushing out the door when the first one strikes.

Really not much else to report on. My stomach feels like it has grown immensely (or perhaps rounded out) over the past 72 hours.  My appetite is through the roof. I could basically eat non stop. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not sleeping well at all (Thanks for the practice Bek!) I am just so ready to get into labor and meet this baby! I pray every day that "today would be the day" but God has other plans! I know there is much to be learned when "waiting" on things in life. I pray that I would be open to those teachable moments as I anticipate and prepare for that first contraction! And on that note, my verse for this week, "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" -Psalm 27:14. There is just no reading between the lines there! Strength WILL rise as I wait upon the Lord!

Here is the belly as of 37 weeks on Friday. Can I just say I am sick of rotating through the same 5-7 outfits that I have? I wear these black pants with a tank top and pull over at least twice a week. Oh well. Never claimed I wanted to be a maternity model!

Bekham's Baby Shower!

So much has happened this week, I feel like I'll never be able to post everything! The highlight, of course, being the long awaited baby shower thrown by 2 dear family friends. It was everything you would have dreamed your baby shower would be. The decorations were so intricate and coordinated with Bekham's nursery (monkeys with green and brown as the main colors). EVERY detail of the shower was so thoughtful and planned just for this baby. The people who were there, of course, made it even more special. Its always amazing to see such tangible blessings in your life in the form of friends. The best thing about this shower was that I had new friends, old friends, family friends, the whole range! And everyone just as happy to be there as the next. It was an incredible and special afternoon for me!

So, warning ahead of time, this post is photo heavy, but I never want to forget this day! Don't skip the rest of this blog, there is so much more to share! So, first, the eye catcher, the diaper cake:

Seriously... how adorable is this!? And here are some photos of the rest of the decorations while we are on topic!

The hydrangeas were gorgeous, and as you can see, there was monkey fabric in the center of this table!

Silverware wrapped and held together by green and brown monkey ribbons :)

Party favors filled with teddy grahams! These were ADORABLE! I'm stealing this idea for when I throw a baby shower for someone (to be determined)!

 I'm sorry, but aren't this gorgeous!?

These were dessert! Cupcakes made to look like baby rattles. I just thought these were adorable!

For lunch, we had delicious pumpkin soup with chicken salad sandwiches on croissants and fruit skewers. It was delightful. Anyone who knows me, knows I love pumpkin anything, and chicken salad anytime, so this lunch was very tailored to my taste buds! Again, just goes to show the thoughtfulness of the hosts! After eating lunch, it was game time. We played 2 games (both extremely challenging). One was a celebrity baby game where you had to guess which baby pictures went with which celebrity. I was AWFUL at this game. However, Nick and I both made the celebrity list! And I got those 2 right! The second game was right up my alley. For each letter of the alphabet you had to come up with something baby related and hope that no one else had your answer of it wouldn't count! It was harder than it sounds. I got 15 out of 26 unique answers, but still wasn't a winner! But that's okay! My sister-in-law won and got to open my first present which was a travel bag with travel sized items for my hospital stay. Oh, and my initials were monogrammed on the front. How thoughtful was that!? It's already packed in the labor duffel bag!

Well, of course, presents were next on the agenda. I'll try to spare you all 40 pictures of me opening presents, but I have to post some! There were so many meaningful gifts that showed up on Saturday!

Had to post this outfit from MiMi as it goes with the theme :) Monkey jammies for the boy!

So thrilled about this gift. Shirely would call it a "Bopper" but its a boppy billow for nursing and for baby to lay on!

This is the monkey mobile that goes with Bekham's nursery bedding.. and here is the hamper that completes the full set!

I still need to get a picture of the nursery fully completed, however, it is a mess up there at the moment from the mass intake of gifts (not complaining!) But you don't get that photo quite yet!

My friend Anita made nursery color themed towels for Bek :) Not sure how she had time to make these with 3 kids of her own, but she is an incredible woman!

Many of the women contributed to this group gift which was our pack and play. This is something I have wanted since the day I found out I was pregnant. It has a snap in changing table and bassinet so I can set this up in our room for the first few months and keep him near us while he sleeps (and while I don't!)

This one definitely ranks at the top of favorite gifts. My Mom made this quilt for Bekham. She always makes baby quilts for her friends and I always wondered what the one she made for my baby would look and feel like. Well- I finally know. Its minky and incredible soft. Its the colors of BOY and it is something I'll cherish the rest of my life. I already told her, but I think she truly outdid herself on this one! I feel bad for Sharp baby #2! I can't imagine something more beautiful than this.

Amy's mother, Esther, handmade this baby blanket for Bekham as well. Is there any way this baby knows how many people love him? So many friends have put time and love into these gifts for him! I will never let him forget that when he is old enough to understand!

WAR EAGLE! An embroidered Auburn bib for this little tiger! I LOVE IT!

The travel system!!! We can bring the boy home now! And take him shopping or walking or whatever we want with this brand new stroller :)

There were so many more great gifts we received. Bath time accessories, oodles of outfits, bottles, a diaper bag, a second base for the car seat to put in Nick's car, the list goes on FOREVER. I was amazed by the outpouring of gifts that we received! Time to share faces of friends that came:

My in-laws. So happy that momma in the middle could make it! She's due any day now!

These are the incredible girls in my small group I bragged about last week! They are amazing and it was so great to have them there on Saturday! Gosh I love them!

We are 2 days apart on due dates. We both have our fingers crossed that these boys make their grand entries into the world on 11/11/11. At the very least, we hope to be in the hospital at the same time whatever day it may be!

These are the 2 women that made it all happen. Lisa Wright and Amy Benson. So thankful and blessed by them!

This girl is a favorite. I couldn't have prayed for or asked for a better lifelong best friend. Can't wait for Bekham to meet Kelsie. I know she'll love him like he's family.

Another favorite person! My mom has done so much for me and this baby already and he's not even here yet. Most of you know this already from reading my blog, but, no one can know the full measure of what she does. I've received a card from her in the mail for every single doctors appointment since day 1 of finding out I was pregnant. What a way to mark this pregnancy with memories. She's bought every little desire I have for this baby from books, to outfits, to nursery accessories. Bekham, you're going to love your Grammy. I've never known someone with such selfless love for others- and you're going to be a recipient of it- just know you are blessed!

Okay, I need to start wrapping this up. I'm on a marathon blog post here! Before I move onto my last topic, here is the 36 week belly shot!

So, the other big event of this week has to do with doctors and switching practices. I ended up taking my birth plan into my doctor's office this past week. And let me start by saying that my birth plan is very tame. Nothing crazy on there. I personally think the craziest thing on there is the fact that I want to wear my own clothes, not the hospital gown, and she didn't seem to have a problem with that. However, she did have a problem with some other specifics I outlined in my plan. One of those being the fact that I wanted to refuse Cytotec no matter what the circumstances. Doctor wasn't a fan of this and asked me to remove it from my plan. That was the point when I turned the switch off. I quit engaging in the conversation and decided I was about to start scrambling for a more natural friendly provider. Luckily for me, I have 2 friends that know a lot about natural birth and knew where to refer me. Gifts From Grace will be my new provider and the practice that will deliver and welcome Bekham into this world. I am so thankful for this practice. 

We've finally decided what shots we will and will not give our boy. We've come to a peace about circumcision. We tried to find a doctor that would perform the operation on the 8th day, but this is just not common practice anymore unless you are truly Jewish and can find a Mohel that will offer the service. So, the only shot Bekham will have to receive at the hospital is the Vitamin K shot so ensure that his blood clots successfully after his little surgery. This breaks my heart, but there's just no other answers to be found out there to avoid this shot. We will follow up with Hepatitis A at the pediatrician's office but there is just no need to give him this shot in the first 24 hours of his life. The less the better. I don't want him stressed out and more scared than he already will be when he is outside of his little safety pocket, also known as my uterus. We are going to do everything in our power to give Bekham the most normal welcome into this world as possible. 

Well today I had my first appointment with the new doctor (Gifts of Grace OBGYN). This was like paradise compared to what I had been experiencing. Diane, who is technically a midwife, came right in and felt around to let me know that Bekham is indeed head down. (No one had done this at my previous practice). Then, just to confirm, she even let me get an ultrasound of the boy. She had asked when my last one was and I told her it was at our 20 week appointment. She hooked me right up and there he was. Head straight down. The US tech estimated that Bekham is approximately 6 pounds 7 ounces (only a prediction, of course!) Diane talked to me like I was her own daughter, and even talked to Bekham like she already knew him. This place has the spirit of Lord in it. I truly believe that. Not just because of the Bible verses that are hung around the office, but because of the joy within the people that work there. This place is a blessing and I am so thankful to have been referred here by friends. We listened to Bekham's heart for awhile and she pointed out the noise that was his valve opening and closing. AMAZING. She is incredible. I can't wait to go back next week! This is truly an answered prayer. I don't think I'll ever give birth anywhere else after this experience. Okay. This is entirely too long, but thanks for reading!!